They should run to and fro to seek the word of the Lord and shall not find it. Amos 8:12

 Amos prophesies of the downfall of Israel here, but how well it applies to our day. And why do we not find it? The answer is found in Matthew ch 13:11- 13 The disciples had just asked Christ why he spake in parables. "He answered and said unto them, Because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of he kingdom of heaven, but to them it is not given." What is this some kind of secret club? Not really. Let's read the next verse."For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath."
So what is it that we must have in order that we shall be given - even an abundance? It is faith - a tiny seed of faith that we might believe. Now if we allow that tiny mustard seed to grow we will tend it and nurture it we will be given more.
But if we say this seed is too small. I have been taught that since my youth, I've heard that before and look at me now. Would a loving God abandon me and let all these bad things happen to me? I'll loose all my friends, my girlfriend, or boyfriend if I follow that. Your asking me to change my lifestyle, my friends. I won't be cool anymore.
So don't go letting it all go to your head because you chose to follow Christ. Remember that Lucifer was a son of the Morning, one of the elite, and he fell.Heaven wept over him, but it was his choice and all the promises were taken from him. He began to loose the knowledge that he had. So when he saw Adam in the Garden of Eden he went down and tried to cause trouble. He forgot that was God's plan all along.

I saw this forgetfulness happen to Edward as he sank into depression after our son died at the age of twenty-eight. It happened to me as well after Edward died. So much, so much I forgot. Every day I make the decision to nurture and build upon that which I have been given that  when the Lord comes I will hear his voice. My eyes will be open and I will see his face and know him even as he knows me.
               
  

God does not give us fear, but ...a sound mind

There are many stories of those who have died and came back and shared their stories. There are a few, who instead of going toward the light went in to darkness. In all of these stories I have read, in their darkness there came a light and the light emitted pure love. Now one would expect that if one was in darkness and  had lived an unrighteous life and Christ appeared unto them they would feel fear. Not so.God is love and he has compassion on each of us.Some us are truly led astray by hurt feelings, by abuse, by addictions, by many, many things, but if there is even the tiniest shred of belief in us that Christ lives and can save us, we can feel his love.

Paul wrote to Timothy in his second letter verse 7."For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." We all started out with a sound mind. Some are born with mental defects for God's own purpose, but for the rest of us we have the ability to think things through and find truth where ever it is. Along the way some minds are injured often through no fault of their own, through as I said above through abuse and addictions, and others are carried away into foolishness through pride or other.

I do not think it is wrong to question your beliefs because God gave you a sound mind and if you seek the truth you will find the Gospel. That is what the word gospel means truth. There is no fear in truth or in knowledge of God or in salvation or in love. Perfect love casteth out fear.

That ye might have peace

“These things I have spoken unto you that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” St John 16:33

We all know about tribulation. It is all around us, but if we believe in Christ we “might” have peace. What you mean that it doesn’t just come automatically? No. For if you truly believe then you will do all the things he asks of you? Right? Nope!

 After Edward died I went through a period of time where I just went through the motions. I attended my meetings but often I slept through the entire thing.  I read my scriptures, but it was like yah, yah, I’ve read this before and it hasn’t changed.  The fact is we cannot stand still. We have to be actively engaged in the work of the Lord. One day I ran into a dear friend at Walmart. He saw right through me and knew how far I had fallen. He gently chastised me and I was like, yah, yah, I know all that that. So every once in a while he would call to check up on me.   

Now I could have told that so called friend to buzz of and leave me alone. I believe the scriptures. I believe in Christ.  I’m trying to do the right thing, so go away and leave me alone. The decision was mine and I made the decision to become anxiously engaged.   I have to admit that it wasn’t just that one friend. There were others, a visiting teacher and former Relief Society President, former Bishops, other neighbors and friends who influenced me. 

The strongest influence probably came from those who have gone on before me, my husband Edward, my son Eddie who died at the age of 28, my dad the person who taught me to forgive (others and as well as myself), and my grandparents. I remember so clearly Grandmother Mellie Stearns in her old rocking chair next to the west window catching the last rays of sunlight with which to read her Bible. I want to be with them again someday and thank them for all they have done for me.  That is peace.

Why don't you receive what you pray for?

My Father was a a kind gentle man who taught me to forgive. It was said of him by many that he had the patience of Job. And there are only two or three times I can ever recall his being angry. One of those times was when someone began cutting his fences and thus letting the cows out. At first being the patient man he was he simply checked his fences every day and repaired them. After a year of this he got a little riled and started sitting in the bushes with a shotgun across his lap. He only wanted to scare them away, he said. He would sit there, he said, and pray that the Lord would help his old eyes see who was cutting his fence.
This went on for awhile, and them one day I called Mom  and asked how things were going. She told me about him waiting in the bushes with his shotgun. In fear that he would accidentally shoot someone or himself, I started praying that the Lord would protect him by not allowing him to see anyone to shoot and also help him understand why he shouldn't be shooting at them.
The next time he grabbed his shotgun and headed for the bushes.he prayed as always that the Lord would open his old eyes that he could see the person cutting his fences. He said this soft warm feeling came into his chest and he heard a voice that said, "What you ask, you will not receive because you ask amiss."
He said, "Thy will oh Lord be done." He took the gun immediately to the house and put it away. That night as he read his scriptures he started where he left off in the book of James fourth chapter. and when he got to the third verse he read, "Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lust." He was humbled then and prayed to the Lord that he would soften the heart of the person cutting his fence that he might see fit to stop harassing a poor old man. The fence cutting stopped immediately.             

Does the Lord appear unto man?

The first account of the Lord's appearance after Adam and Eve left the garden of Eden is probably at the tower of Babele. In Genisis 11:7 the Lord said lets go down, and there confound their language. It is most likely that the people being wicked and their spiritual eyes darkened they did not comprehend the Lord but that does not mean the Lord was not there. The Book of Mormon has a beautiful story of the Brother of Jared who saw the hand of the Lord during that time period.
"And the Lord said unto him; Because of thy faith thou hast seen that I shall take upon me flesh and blood; and never has man come before me with such excceeding faith as thou hast; for were it not so ye could not have see my finger."Ether 3:9
A little further in the book of Genesis (12:7) "The Lord appeared unto Abram." All right some will say but when Christ died the veil of the temple was rent in twain. Revelation ceased and the Lord no longer shows himself nor does he speak to us. Not so. He did appear unto different ones soon after he was taken up. Matthew, Mark, Luke and John all give an account of his appearance. In 1 Corinthians 15:4-29 Paul explains explicitly that Christ lives and that the heavens are not closed. Paul says after he was buried, he rose again and he was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve; after that he was seen of above five hundred brethren. He gives more but it doesn't matter. It is by our faith that we can see him(as Christ said unto the Brother of Jared above.If we believe the heavens are closed and Christ is dead then he is dead to us and the heavens are closed to us.     

There is but one God who created the Heavens and the Earth

There is but one God who created the Heavens and the Earth. In Malachi we read. For I am the Lord. I change not. And in a letter to the Hebrews Paul wrote, Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever. If we believe in God then we all believe in the same entity. Some believe that when the scriptures say that the Father and the Son are one, they believe that is literal. Others believe that the Father and the Son are one in purpose, one in authority, and one in unity (in the same way that a man and his wife can be one flesh as it says in Genesis 2:24) but are separate entities. Does it matter? Is it worth fighting over. I don't think so. They are the same God, the same word, the same purpose either way. The truth is the same. Some may have a different portion of the truth, while other have more knowledge and a clearer vision of the big picture but it is the same truth. The Gospel, the truth, is so simple a child can understand it and  John 3:16 says it well. God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life.  That is the big picture, the why and the how and the purpose.