Christ atoned for everyone's sins.

Owe no one “anything, but to love one another. For he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.” (Romans 13:8) It actually says, “Owe no man.” At one time that we understood that the word man meant mankind, but we have become so gender phobic that the word man has become bad so I changed it. The word love has also become polluted and come to mean so many different things.

We are told to love one another as we love ourselves. The problem with that is that sometimes we don’t love ourselves, or maybe we love ourselves too much. As a parent I thought I loved my children enough I would give my life for them. What I meant by that was that if we were being held hostage and only one of us would be set free I would be the one to stay. It did not mean that I would do everything for my children so that they never learned responsibility, or that I would accept their punishment either for them or from them, or any of that dysfunctional stuff.

Loving my husband did not mean that I would accept guilt for things he did, or allow him to treat me as if I was not as good as he was, or any of that other dysfunctional stuff. I accepted him as he was faults and all. I was equal to him. I never felt that as a woman or as his mate that I was lower than him. He had his strengths and weakness and I had mine. I respected his role and talents; and he respected mine.  

Christ atoned for everyone’s sins. I don’t need to be a martyr.   

As I write this I realize that despite the abuse I received as a child I had one functional parent who taught me that I had worth, who respected me enough to give me responsibilities, and held me accountable for my actions. Above all he taught me to forgive and love my enemy even if it was from a distance. I did not accept her abuse as personal. It had nothing to do with me or my behavior. It was totally random and came from somewhere inside of her because of her childhood abuse.

I am so grateful functional parent taught me unconditional love.